Listening to: human noises (tv, computer, music) & wind
Reading: too many books at the same time... simply too many
Watching: entropy slowly taking over my room
Playing: planning, planning...
Drinking: tea, tea. tea
The fresh, cool wind - inpregnanted by the smell of heavy autumn rain - blows, torturing the trees in it's violent ways.
Altough the noble creatures are used to the treatment, they cry with every hit, breathing out pure freshness in return.
The lights are visible from inside the house, disturbing this order of entropy by showing little presence of the humans.
The ground is wet, muddy as well as the grass shining in it's dark greeness, also troubled by the wind of cloudy atmosphere.
I can see the familiar landscape of tall trees surrounding our garden, farther the hills which are inhabited by lamps. It is still quite absurd from here - after all these yeares -, from the forest, that there is a big city colliding with it at our feet.
I'm manicly pacing around in the dim light of garden lamp. Bound into my scarf and warm pullover, placing a mug of tea on the table in front of the windows.
It's almost two in the morning.
I'm eating cigarette after cigarette thinking, blowing curious smoke (silently wishing for an other type of herb).
Ocassionally picing up the mug and tasting the delicious liquid.
I'm restless. This very moment is thrilling. This very moment is scarry and exciting.
I can feel the life filling me again with hope and determination. I make plans of actions. I want to be able to defeat the impossible.
This is the moment just before the begining.